so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
