Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
