Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
