if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
