If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
