Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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