You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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