she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize