Sober January is a disaster.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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