I could have mohawked her pubes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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