I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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