I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
