Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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