I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i believe in u and ur pee
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