i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Randomize
