So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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