my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
