I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
