OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
