Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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