If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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