I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
