There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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