Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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