I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
