I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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