If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize