i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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