Jerry, you need to find god
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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