Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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