yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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