At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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