i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't turn off my feet"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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