dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
