i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
