we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
