i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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