What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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