i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
