He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
