the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
