I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
