I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
