my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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