Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
