Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
