she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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