It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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