he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she peed on how many people?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
