i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
