I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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