I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
