It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My liver just had a heart attack.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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