I just cut my nipple shaving
its not stalking. its research.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
