her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
