I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
