Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
