I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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