How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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