your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
