my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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