We're facebook friends in real life
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
