P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
